So, you’ve been asked to be a groomsman at your friend’s wedding? Get ready, because it’s a bigger job than most people think and it helps to know what to expect so that you can make the wedding a complete success.
What is a Groom’s Person?
A groom’s person is a crucial part of the wedding. While technically a groomsman is a male attendant in the wedding and often a close friend or family member of the groom, their duties are much bigger than just standing next to the groom during the ceremony. From gifting the perfect present to the groom to planning the bachelor party, helping guests, and handling the getaway car, a groom’s person has his work cut out for him.
Groomsmen Gifts to the Groom
Giving the groom a gift is an important part of the groomsmen’s role that shouldn’t be overlooked. If you need ideas for what exactly to give, consider classics such as a premium watch or leather wallet. You can even get the gift personalized to mark the occasion.
But when exactly do you give your gift? The best time is during the bachelor party or the rehearsal dinner. You’ll also want to make sure you give the gift in private, so it helps to think ahead for when the best time might be to pull the groom aside (without taking him away from the festivities for too long).
Groomsmen Colors to Wear
As a groomsman, it’s your job to gather your own wedding attire. Whether it’s a formal tux or a casual suit or dress shirt and slacks, it’s important to find out what exactly the attire is for the wedding ceremony. But one aspect beyond the type of clothing is the color. If the groom is confused about which colors to select for the attire, colors on the spectrum of grey, navy blue, and tan are always solid suggestions. You might even want to search online for images of other groomsmen so that you can show him how each color looks with specific suits. Of course, if the wedding is a tuxedo affair, black is the only option.
Match Your Groom and Bridesmaids
Another important part of being a groomsman involves matching your suit color to the groom and the bridesmaids. If everyone in the ceremony is wearing tan/cream or different shades of light pink or navy, you don’t want to be the only one up there in a black suit. So make sure to talk with the groom (and the bride) months before the wedding so that you and all the other groomsmen have time to find the most appropriate color for their suit.
Your Responsibilities as Groomsmen
Think your responsibilities as groomsmen are just during the wedding ceremony? Think again. Your to-do’s include before the wedding and after the ceremony, too. Read the below checklist to make sure you are well prepared to help the groom in all matters of the big day.
Before Wedding Responsibilities
The responsibilities before the wedding are perhaps some of the most important. After all, there are numerous significant events for the buildup to the big day. These events can sometimes span over the course of several months.
Plan the Bachelor Party
This is maybe one of the biggest duties of a groomsman, mainly if you’re the best man. If you are, you’ll want to plan a bachelor party that is in line with the groom’s interests. While you want to throw a party that everyone will enjoy, keep in mind that it’s all for the groom, so pick activities you think he would enjoy. Also, schedule the party over a weekend that works best for him.
Where/How To Throw a Bachelor Party
First things first - ask the groom what he wants to do for the bachelor party. Where does he want it to be? How many people should be invited? Who exactly should be invited? As mentioned above, the bachelor party is for the groom, so don’t be afraid to pull him into the planning. One pro tip for planning the party is to include really good food. Have a plan for where to go for the best breakfasts, lunches, and/or dinners. While everyone’s interests might vary, eating good food is usually something everyone enjoys.
Show Up To Events
This should go without saying, but make sure you show up to all the pre-wedding events. Anything the groom asks you to join, figure out a way to make it happen.
Help the Guests
Sometimes guests want to know things like, where do they send the gifts ahead of time? Or where can they place the gifts when they arrive at the wedding? Or what about the accommodations and travel to and from the hotel? Will there be a shuttle to the actual ceremony from where they are staying? What activities are there for them to do in the days leading up to the wedding? These are just a few of the questions that might come up months before the wedding week. As a groomsman, it’s your job to have answers to all of these questions and more. This might mean sitting down with both the groom and bride to make sure all the details are covered and everyone is on the same page.
During Wedding Responsibilities
The big day has arrived - and it’s filled with a lot of activity all of which groomsmen need to help with throughout the day.
Guide the Guests
When guests arrive at the venue, you’ll want to help show them where to go to grab a cocktail or a snack, or a place to mingle. After all, not every guest wants to sit in their seat if they arrive 30 minutes or an hour before the start of the actual ceremony. Make sure to talk with the groom about this weeks before the wedding day so that you have a plan in place and aren’t scrambling at the last minute.
Usher Guests to Seats
Ten minutes before the ceremony begins, start taking guests to their seats. Some guests might need assistance walking (especially if the seating is on a sandy beach or uneven surface).
Stand with the groom at altar
Sometimes you might have to stand with the groom at the altar for 30 minutes or more depending on how long the ceremony is, so make sure you’ve eaten a meal that day and are plenty hydrated. If there’s sun, bring a pair of shades just in case.
Keep the wedding party alive for photos
Depending on the bride and groom, sometimes adult beverages can be flowing pretty heavily as soon as the ceremony is over. Try to keep tabs on the wedding party as much as possible so that they are easy to wrangle once the photos begin.
Give a speech (if asked)
Normally it’s just the best man who gives a speech at the wedding, but other groomsmen typically give a speech at the rehearsal dinner. Check with the groom to see what he’s thinking and if he prefers all the groomsmen to give a speech (and if so, when exactly he would like them to speak). You might also want to put together a few things to say just in case he asks you last minute. If you do give a speech, keep it short (no more than 5 minutes).
Take gifts to safe place
Get ready for guests to start handing you a lot of gifts - Knowing where exactly to place them will save you stress the day of the wedding. One suggestion is to keep them somewhere only you and a few others from the wedding party have access to, such as a locked room in the wedding venue. If there’s a wedding planner, ask them for ideas.
After Wedding Responsibilities
Following the ceremony, there are still a few things groomsmen can help with to make the wedding a true success.
Help load the car
Assist the bride and groom with loading up their car, which will primarily be with gifts.
Return suit or tuxedo back
This is a big way you can help the groom after the wedding. Get the instructions of where to return the suit/tux prior to the wedding day.
Check out the couple's home while they are at honeymoon
Find out from the bride and groom how you can help while they are away on their honeymoon. Sometimes this can include taking care of pets or watering plants. Either way, it’s always a nice gesture to ask.